I Like It When You Die

Imaginez BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD et CARTMAN qui auraient décidé un jour de faire du bruit dans une cave, je pense que ça aurait donné ANAL CUNT.
Donc juste pour le plaisir, parce que quand même, Seth Putnam a sans doute écrit de la vraie poésie dans ANAL CUNT, quelques textes bien choisis pour vous, mes nombreux lecteurs.
Ps : Ca ne fera sans doute rire que moi, mais il y a du génie dans ce groupe.

FACE IT, YOU'RE A METAL BAND
you're not fucking hardcore, you're not avant garde
you're not punk rock, you're just a fucking retard
you're not something special, you're not something new
you're not fucking good, face it you're a metal band

YOU HAVE GOALS
you want to go to school
you want a good job
you want to get married
you want to own a car

you're boring,you're gay,you're old,you have goals

you want to own a house
you want to have kids
if these are your goals
then you're fucking stupid

I ATE YOUR HORSE
Your dad took out a second mortgage to buy you a horse
You loved and took better care of it than yourself
You combed it, cleaned it, and fed it apples everyday
I was broke, drunk, and hungry, so I killed your horse and ate it

I ate your horse

When you came to the stable the next morning
You found a pile of hair, teeth, and hooves
I hid around the back to listen to you cry
Then I beat an old lady to death with the leg bone

I LIKE DRUGS AND CHILD ABUSE
I smoke lots of crack and my girlfriend has a kid
I like drugs and child abuse
When she’s in the bathroom, I kick him in the balls
I like drugs and child abuse
When she’s at work, I teach him how to shoot up
I like drugs and child abuse
When she beats him up, I sit there and laugh
I like drugs and child abuse

When he was in 3rd grade, his best friend OD’d
Because I made him sell heroin and speed
I like beating kids for no reason at all
I like doing drugs and beating up kids

YOUR FAMILY IS DUMB
No lyrics.

YOU'RE OLD (FUCK YOU)
please die, you're old [x3]
fuck you

NO WE DONT WANT TO DO A SPLIT 7" WITH YOUR STUPID FUCKING BAND
No Lyrics.

I INTENTIONALLY RAN OVER YOUR DOG
Your dog was your only friend
You spent your life savings fixing its broken leg
You loved it more than your parents loved you
And then I ran it over

Your dog was dumb and now it’s dead
My tire tracks are tattooed on its head

I dragged it 50 yards down the street
And you ran after me in tears
I almost cried because I was laughing so hard
Then I turned around and tried to hit you

I BECAME A COUNSELOR SO I COULD TELL RAPE VICTIMS THEY ASKED FOR IT
You shouldn’t have been a woman
You shouldn’t have had a cunt
You deserved it
'cause you’re a dumb cunt

D-U-M-B C-U-N-T

You deserved it, you deserved it, you deserved it, you’re a dumb cunt

You should’ve worn a chastity belt
You should’ve volunteered to fuck him
You should’ve been ugly
I hate you because you’re a woman

I SENT CONCENTRATION CAMP FOOTAGE TO AMERICAS FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS
My uncle was best friends with Hitler
He had some cool footage of Dachau
I was watching America’s Funniest Home Videos on dust
And sent some footage to that fucking gay show

I sent concentration camp footage to America’s Funniest Home Videos

I didn’t win the $10,000
So I sent internment camp footage
I didn’t win again
So I sent Birth Of A Nation

I LIT YOUR BABY ON FIRE
I spent all my money on drugs, and couldn’t afford to fly
I took a greyhound bus, you and your brat sat next to me
It wouldn’t shut up, so I lit it on fire
For 30 seconds it was louder, then it shut up

I lit your, I lit your, I lit your, baby on fire [x4]

You came back from the bathroom and smelled something burning
You realized it was your baby and I started to laugh
You asked the driver to pull over, but he laughed at you too
You yelled at me, so I roasted some marshmallows on your kid

I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I was on my way to turn in illegal aliens to the INS
And your stupid fucking dog was barking at me
It sounded like a singer from a gay death metal band
I wanted to kick it in the fucking face

I sold your dog to a Chinese restaurant

After I beat the fucking shit out of it
I wanted to throw it through your fucking window
But I needed money to buy some more whiskey
So I sold it to a Chinese restaurant

Your family ordered a pu pu platter
You didn’t know what you were eating
It was your fucking gay faithful dog
While you were at the restaurant I lit your house on fire

BEING IGNORANT IS AWESOME
We don't give a fuck about the lyrics

YOU RE PREGNANT, SO I KICKED YOU IN THE STOMACH
I thought you were a fat chick
Then I realized you were pregnant
I thought it would be funny if your baby died
So I kicked you in the stomach

I kicked you, your baby’s dead
Ha ha ha, your baby’s dead

There were no stairs to throw you down
There was no roof to throw you off
There were no coat hangers around
So I kicked you in the stomach

Et bien d'autres hits tels que :
The Guy Who Shot His Kid Up With A.I.D.S. Is Awesome
If You Don't Like The Village People, You're Fucking Gay
The Word Homophobic Is Gay
You Converted To Judaism So A Guy Would Touch Your Dick
Beating Up Hippies For Their Drugs At A Phish Concert
Ha Ha Holocaust
We’re Not ‘In Da House’ You Fucking Wigger
Woman, Nature's Punching Bag